


Cooking with Sans

by JennGB



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Comment Below, Cooking, F/M, First Fanfiction, Friendship/Love, Human and Monster Tensions, I took a six month hiatus and came back, Implied cursing, Implied substance abuse by a one-off character in chapter 2, Monsters have rights already, NEW Click my name for Cooking with Sans: Serving Select (Extras), Probably has spelling errors haha, Racism, Reader is a college student, Romance, Shenanigans, Slice of Life, Some drama with humor, Summer, Summer Vacation, Turn based battle system, Writer is bored, lots of puns, puns, reader is female, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennGB/pseuds/JennGB
Summary: You're a college student spending your summer vacation in your apartment. Your roommates are traveling while you take a breather and stay local. You eventually get bored and sign up for a local cooking class in your area and wind up meeting some pretty interesting people along the way. Maybe this will be an exciting summer after all...





	1. Can-did Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> I had this sitting in my phone for the longest time. Hope you enjoy XD

         “Ok let’s see what’s left...” You look at the grocery list you typed up in the Notes app on your phone. 

         “Salt, milk, and ketchup...alright...” You put your phone back in your pocket in one swift motion.

         You walk around the grocery store on a Friday evening with a grocery basket carrying a carton of eggs, flour, and other items from your list. Next Tuesday you were going to a community cooking class you signed up for since it was Summer, and you were bored just doing basically nothing at home while your roommates went traveling. You occasionally think you should’ve gone with them, but after having a stressful year at college, you decided to play it cool and be local for most of your vacation. You then remembered how you found the cooking class in the first place…

\-----

         Originally, you planned to do nothing at all this summer (except for some paid video editing at home) and just spent the first few days lounging around and watching tv, Flixnet, and Utube in your apartment home, which of course was not the most productive way to use your time. You didn’t care though, and had spent your days and nights doing that, lazing about, writing stories, and playing video games.

         You occasionally cooked something mildly interesting with whatever was in the fridge, inspired by the cooking shows which had that chef which was always a meme on the Nets. However, once that inspiration was lost, it was back to oven baked pizza and tv dinners.

         As the days passed though, you found your refrigerator less than empty and realized it was time to get grocery shopping again. So, you got dressed, walked downstairs, snagged the newspaper and mail from your mailbox, and decided to drive halfway to the grocery store, before remembering your direct deposit hasn’t hit your account yet, so you were pretty much broke.

         “Ughh right” you facepalmed with one hand and turned your steering wheel around with the other. Later, you took a turn into the drive through of a local fast food joint and ordered a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a shake. You picked up your order from a guy with a cute smile and parked in a nearby empty space, then took a sip of your shake to soften the blow to your pride.

         ‘I still can’t believe I forgot. The money isn’t supposed to hit my account until Thursday and today’s Tuesday’ you thought to yourself as you sipped more of your shake.

         You reminded yourself that day to ask your family to spot you some cash for groceries since you knew you could pay them back when the money hit your account on Thursday. In the meantime, you munch on your delicious burg and dip your fries into your shake and eat them.

         Out of the corner of your eye you saw a dude in the car to your right seem offended that you would scandalize your fries this way, but instead of awkwardly turning away and trying to ignore him, you stuck your tongue out and dipped your fries in your shake again before eating them. He rolled his eyes and you laughed as he drove off.

         You then looked through that day’s mail that you left in the passenger seat beside you and skimmed to see if there was anything for you. It was all coupons and bills and other things your roommates subscribed to. Nothing you haven’t seen before.

         You turned up the radio on your car since you were in no rush to be anywhere, but all the songs that played seemed to be trolling you and telling you, you were boring and had no life. So, you turned off the radio and switched it to the Aux cord before you played your favorite songs on your phone and did some head bobbing. Heheh, take that universe.

         Shortly after your ‘victory’, you had absentmindedly looked at the newspaper without expecting much. Some dude finally found his cat, an alligator monster saved the mayor’s daughter and got a reward, MTT Studios was opening a theme park in Florida, etc. etc. You set the newspaper down, but then your eye caught something interesting, so you flipped through it again to find it.

 

         In bold print it read,

 **Are you bored and lounging around the house this summer? Like to cook? Why not join our community cooking class? Meet new people in your area and learn to cook more than just tv dinners and oven cooked pizza** **this summer.**

         ‘Wow’ you thought.

 **Multiple classes are available, each class is 25 students. From May 29th to July 20 th excluding holidays**. **Call 41*-***-**** or go to our website www.cookingwithmonstersandmen.com for more information.**

 

 

         Of course, with the universe having handed you a sign while simultaneously roasting you, you decided to go to their website once you were back home in your apartment that day. After you called your family to spot you some grocery money, you called the local number for the cooking class and signed up for the last slot of the last remaining class with a partial payment from your own money.

\-----

   

      Now it was Friday evening, and having since paid your family back and having paid for the full cooking class fee, you were at the grocery store again to finish off your list of foods to buy for the class. You were genuinely excited to meet new people, and now you weren’t a 100% apartment junkie. After finding the milk and walking around in circles before finding the salt, you were off to find the last item for the night. A bottle of ketchup.

         It seemed simple enough to get, but you were momentarily distracted by someone yelling something about spaghetti without sauce being unacceptable. You continued to walk while looking over your shoulder but couldn’t see who it was around the corner, so you kept walking-

 

**_CRASHH_ **

****

         ...right into a pyramid of soup cans.

 

         Some of the items you collected fell out of your basket when you slipped, and cans rolled every which way as people looked down at you with concern and mild amusement. You tried to reorient yourself as some kid was laughing at you, but as soon as you tried to get up, your foot slipped on another can and you fell forward again in one swoop.

         At this point everyone that saw you was either trying to look away to hide their giggles or watch you with concern. A mother-like yellow tabby and a tall guy employee went over to help you up and pick up some cans and items.

 

         “I saw you fall, that looked painful dear are you ok?” Said the cat lady.

         “Yeah, I think I’m fine” you said holding your face.

 

         It was then, a few seconds later, that you heard someone a few feet away burst into raucous laughter, like they could no longer hold it in anymore. You looked around to pinpoint whose obnoxious laughter it was and fell upon a short skeleton in a hoodie. You glared at him and he caught you looking back at him, so he seemingly turned away to wipe away some tears and try to compose himself.

 

         “AAHHAHAHAh...I’m sorry kid I ehHehEh shouldn’t be laughing at ya but that was downright hilariousss”.

 

         As he started to cackle more, some people eyed him, but his laughter only made those trying not to laugh fail to stop themselves. You felt more embarrassment wash over you and wanted nothing more than to throw a nearby can at him. You were about to say something when the same loud voice that startled you in the first place caught everyone’s attention.

 

         “SANS! IT’S VERY RUDE TO LAUGH AT OTHERS EMBARRASSING MISFORTUNES!”.

 

         It was a taller, lankier skeleton in some sort of cosplay costume with a red scarf and boots. He was taller than the tall employee that helped you up and called for someone to help with the cans just now, so you could judge the skeleton was about seven feet or so.

 

         “Aheh sorry bro I couldn’t **can** tain myself”.

         “SANS, THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR PUNS. GO APOLOGIZE TO THE HUMAN FOR LAUGHING AT HER, THOUGH I’M SURE IT WAS HILARIOUS”.

         ‘Wow thanks’ you thought.

         “Heheh alright Paps”.

 

         Still annoyed, you purposely tried to ignore the shorter skeleton even though he was walking over to you and the cat lady helping you pick up your items. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed the closer he got, the taller he got up close. He was maybe a little under five feet but not by much. If you stood up, you’d probably be slightly taller than him. You knew you were being immature by ignoring him, but you weren’t particularly interested in getting a fake apology. When he finally reached you, you were in a squat picking up more items near you and noticed him pause without saying anything at first. Then him and the cat woman exchanged a few glances that you didn’t notice, and the skeleton then sighed and walked around in front of you and squatted too to try and make eye contact.

 

         “Uh hey” he said.

         “Hi” you said flatly.

         He paused for a moment to pick up the packaged salt and other items and put it in your basket as he spoke.

         “I’m sorry I laughed at ya just now, I didn’t really mean to embarrass you like that...”

         You decided to look at him briefly with a neutral face.

         “If it helps at all I have an embarrassing story…”

         Oh gosh...what was about to come out of this dude’s mouth?

         “One time, at a fair I got drunk and tried to free the horses from the merry go round. I wound up short circuiting the ride and got banned”.

 

         You were trying to keep up the salty act, but at this you stared at him and he stared back at you with a shrug and a wacky smile. You couldn’t stop a smile from forming and you both laughed at that, as you put something else in the basket.

 

         “How’d you manage to do that?” you asked.

         “It was a wild story, it even made it to the Nets” the skeleton smiled upon seeing your mood lighten. Or rather he seemed to smile more? Maybe it was just one of those resting smile faces...

         “Oh my gosh hahah, I was at the fair with my daughter that day...that screaming guy, was you? At that summer fair on the coast, right?” The yellow tabby asked with recollection and a chuckle.

         “Yeahhh that was me, I guess you **herd** all about it? I guess I shouldn’t have been **horsing** around so much that day” said the skeleton.

 

         The tabby cackled as she finished picking up the carton of miraculously undamaged eggs and a few other items near her and put them carefully in the basket. Wait… was that another pun? How many does this guy know?

 

         “Hahah I can’t believe I was there as it was happening. I heard you screaming in the distance from the food court. Something about ‘Freeing Donna from slavery’. It was all over the Undernet last year” she cackled.

 

         Suddenly realization hit you. You now understood why the hashtag #FreeDonna was all over Tweeter last year. Not only did the meme of the white merry go round horse go viral on the Undernet and the Internet, it started some internet fights among humans and monsters due to how it made light of slavery in both human and monster history. Nonetheless it almost singlehandedly wrecked the Nets last year.

 

         “You’re the ‘Free Donna’ guy? that’s actually insane. I didn’t even know where that meme came from until just now. How’d you get that plastered?” you asked.

         “Welllll let’s just say I was too competitive for my own good that day” he shrugged. You noticed the change of topic seemed to be making him ever so slightly uncomfortable.

         “Right... well anyway you’re good, I forgive you. I was just being stubborn anyway” you said. The skeleton eyed you.

         “You sure?” he asked. You nodded and picked up your basket of items, now full again thanks to the three’s combined efforts. Then you all stood up again with the task finished.

         “Hah yeah I’m over it, my fall probably did look funny in hindsight. I probably would’ve laughed myself if I saw it. But anyway, thank you both for helping me out, I really appreciate it”.

         “Sure thing sweetheart, you take care of yourself now, and you too Mr. Skeleton” the tabby woman said as she went back to her shopping.

         “You too miss, thanks again” you smiled and said.

         You turned to the skeleton after he said bye to her as well.

         “Thanks for the apology, and the help uh...Suns?” you said.

         “Sans” he said.

         “Sans... well, good luck with the rest of your shopping”.

         “You too buddy. I gotta see if my brother got the right noodles for dinner this time. Take care...um what's your name?”.

         “Uh (Y/N)” you said.

         “(Y/N), have fun shopping, I know you **can** do it”.

 

         He then gave two finger guns with a sound effect before seemingly vanishing into thin air with a faint pop. Magic was definitely something you had to get used to.

 

         With your basket full again and having made sure you didn’t have to pay for any destroyed cans, you get in line at the cash register and pay for all of your items. You then load your bags in the front seat and get ready to drive off. You turn the key in the ignition, excited for the class on Tuesday, and do a quick check to make sure everything in the bags are accounted for.

 

         “Let’s see...flour, eggs, mix, yeast, vegetables, fruits, salt, milk...wait where’s the ketchup?”.

 

         You look deeper in the bags, but you don’t see it. You give a small sigh and turn off the ignition, prepared to make a quick run back inside to buy it. You decide to check your grocery list too just in case you missed anything else important and slide your hand in your pocket. Your hand goes all the way to the bottom without feeling anything. A feeling of dread hits you.

 

         “Where’s my phone??” You look around near the passenger seat and your own seat before also checking the back seats and the trunk just in case.

         ‘Great, hopefully it’s somewhere in the aisle I just left or someone else found it and turned it in’ you thought.

 

         You close your car door and lock it then walk back inside the store. You make it to the aisles near where you fell about 10 minutes ago and spot the tall employee who helped you up and helped with the cans earlier. You make your way over to him and he recognizes you.

 

         “Uh hey again” you said.

         “Oh hey, you sure you’re ok? That fall looked like it hurt” he said.

         “Yeah I’m good, I just lost my phone near here I think”.

         “Oh, ok hmm, let’s see if it’s around here...” He began walking around the isles where it might have slid off to and you searched around too for a bit, but in the end you both couldn’t catch sight of it. He tried calling the other employees on his phone, but the calls didn’t last long.

         “I called the guys who helped with the cans, but they didn’t see a phone either...sorry about that, maybe try asking our store manager? He should be in his office towards the front of the store if that helps” he said.

         “That’s ok, but thanks again. I’ll try asking the manager” you said.

         “Sure thing, I hope you find it” he said.

 

         You walk towards the front of the building near the end of an aisle, then a woman with a cart blocks it at the last minute so you turn back around to go down the next aisle. The same thing happens. This goes on for about five aisles before you decide to wait it out in one aisle and contemplate why the universe was playing tricks on you. The lady that momentarily blocked the aisle you were in finally leaves...but then the taller skeleton from earlier takes her place near the spices.

         You would’ve been annoyed at first but then you realize that this is Sans’ brother...who by chance might’ve happened to see your phone on the ground after you left. You awkwardly approach the tall skeleton and brace your ears for impact.

 

         “Excuse me?” you said. The skeleton turns to face you.

         “UH YES?” he practically shouted.

         “Uh hey your Paps right? Sans’ brother?”

         “THAT IS RIGHT HUMAN, YOU MAY CALL ME PAPYRUS. THE GREAT PAPYRUS IF WE ARE BEING FORMAL”.

         Rest in peace ears, you will surely be missed.

         “Ok um, Papyrus, do you happen to know where your brother Sans is? I lost my phone earlier when I stumbled into those cans and I thought maybe he might have seen it by chance”.

         “HMM...I DO NOT RECALL SANS MENTIONING ANYTHING ABOUT A PHONE, BUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM, TRY THE AISLE WITH THE KETCHUP IN IT”.

         “Oh ok, thank you Papyrus. Good luck with your shopping”.

         “THANK YOU, HUMAN. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PHONE AND YOUR STUMBLING HABIT”.

 

         You decided to ignore that last part and turned a corner to walk down a few aisles to where the condiments were. Sure enough, you spotted the skeleton looking up at the ketchup racks, trying to choose a brand. You walked up to him, feeling the slightest bit awkward about the situation.

 

         “Uh hey Sans” you said.

         “Oh, hey (Y/N) did you come back for more of my jokes? I’ve got plenty of food puns”.

         “Uh well no, you see I lost my phone when I fell earlier, and I wonder if you might’ve seen it?”

         “...”

 

         Sans didn’t say anything for a moment and the mood suddenly became full of tension when he turned to face you with dark eye sockets and an unreadable expression. You became confused in response and didn’t know what to except.

 

         “So... you think I stole it?” he asked.

         What.

 

         “What? - No! I’m asking you because you were there when it happened, and I hoped you might’ve seen it slip out of my pocket or something…I’m not trying to accuse you of anything!”

 

         He kept the same expression without saying anything as a few people eyed you both in the aisle you were in. Ughh this didn’t make any sense. All you wanted was to find your phone and buy a bottle of ketchup. You already embarrassed yourself enough by stumbling into a pyramid of chicken noodle soup, you didn’t want people thinking you were racist too?? You were honestly too tired for this.

 

         “Seriously? you literally saw me faceplant like 10 minutes ago. I’m not racist. I’m just trying to find my phone, and finally get out of hereeee” you drag a hand down your face as you finish that last part, clearly done.

 

         The tension was suddenly broken by Sans’ laughter and his hand on your shoulder. You looked down at him laughing and that’s when you realized it. He was messing with you the whole time.

 

         “Hahahah- I’m just messing with ya. I can tell you’re not racist or whatever, I just wanted to see the look on your face. It was priceless ehehehehehh” the skeleton chuckled.

 

         You gave him the most deadpan expression and was about to walk away before you got the urge to punch him, when he pulled out your phone from his pocket and took a bottle of ketchup from the shelf and held them out to you.

 

         “I saw your list when I picked it up. The ketchup is on me. I’ll pay for it once I pick out my own bottle and grab Paps” he said.

 

You took the bottle and your phone and was glad to find no cracks on the screen.

 

         This came as yet another surprise. You still didn’t know what to do with this guy. He seemed to be genuinely good, but he acts like someone who plays around too much. Especially since he barely even knew you in the first place. Despite this, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt since he did go out of his way to help you tonight. You gave a small sigh and looked at him.

 

         “Sans you’re…one crazy guy, but you’re pretty cool. Thanks for finding my phone and helping with my stuff earlier. You don’t need to buy the ketchup if you don’t want to, you’ve already helped me out plenty” you said. Sans took this in for a moment and smiled a bit wider.

         “Heheh the craziest. And I don’t mind, it’s only 5 bucks. It’s no problem kiddo” he said.

         “Heh ‘Kiddo’? I’m way past the kids meal stage of life.”

         Sans grabs the Hanz brand ketchup, like yours but the deluxe bottle.

         “Not compared to someone my age”

         “How would you know?”

         “Let’s just say skeletons live a lot longer than humans”

 

         You have a few questions to that, but you decide to let it be. After getting the ketchup, you and Sans talk and laugh a bit more before finding Papyrus with angel pasta and a few other groceries similar to yours in his cart. Then you and Papyrus chat in line and put groceries on the conveyor belt while Sans pays for everything. After checkout, while you and Papyrus finish your talk about anime and human history, Sans secretly slips the long receipt in your bag with the ketchup and then hands it to you.

 

         “Welp Paps it’s time to head out. It’s getting late. Nice meeting ya (Y/N). Have a nice night and a safe drive” he gives you a laid-back wave and a smile.

         “I ALSO AGREE, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU (Y/N) AND I HOPE YOU TAKE CARE” Papyrus pats your shoulder before leaving alongside his brother.

         “Heh it was…nice meeting you both too, thanks for helping me out today. You both have a nice night as well” you said.

 

         The three of you then say your string of ‘byes’ and go your separate ways out of the store. You go back to your car and put the bag of ketchup with the other bags in the front seat. You then drove home with the gorgeous moon and the stars overhead, and later park your car and bring all the groceries up to your apartment. You then take the items out of the bags and put them in the refrigerator and cabinets.

         You reflect on meeting the odd pair of skeletons at the grocery store. While it was embarrassing that you ran into those cans, and Sans messed with you a lot, you couldn’t count out his integrity and humor since he helped you without even knowing you. And Papyrus, though loud enough to give you a headache, was pretty sarcastic and hilarious. Not to mention was his taste in anime was on point. You laughed to yourself at your shopping experience and you thought you wouldn’t mind seeing the pair again sometime. It sucks that you didn’t get their numbers…

         It was then as you gathered up the grocery bags off the counter to be used for small trash bags later, you saw a long receipt fall out of one of them and onto the floor. You picked it up and wondered why the skeletons' receipt was in one of your bags when you flipped it over and read a message in pen that looked like it was written in Comic Sans…

 

 

The message was simple and open ended.

 

         _“Want to make this a friendship? I think it **can** be great. If not, no sweat but I hope you take the bait. _

_Sans 41*-***-**8”._

 

 

         You didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe at how cheesy it was, but it did make you smile. You entered the number in your phone and promised to message later. You wouldn’t mind hanging out with the two again and getting to know them more. But now that you were finally home, you weren't in a rush to make plans. The three-day weekend was yours.

         You took a shower and brushed your teeth before changing into your favorite pajamas and starting a Flixnet marathon with a sandwich and some snacks. You couldn’t wait to cook on Tuesday and meet new people now that you had everything you needed. But it seemed that you could even make friends in the most unlikely of places. Somehow you felt this would be quite an interesting summer after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading Chapter 1 of Cooking with Sans. This is the first chapter of anything I've ever uploaded so I'm pretty proud XD. If you like what you see, stay tuned to see what happens next, and I'll catch you at the next update. 
> 
> 'Till next time~  
> -Jenn


	2. This Means War-Drobe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you buy new clothes, meet a familiar face, and battle a foe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting. I know it's been a while (6 months to be exact), but I'm back with more updates coming in 2019. Hopefully this counts as a nice Christmas gift from me to you ^^ and I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year :)
> 
> I'll be changing ratings/tags around for this chapter soon but relevant tags include shopping dilemmas, violence/weapons, implied substance abuse/ racism/alllllmost cursing/and puns. Enjoy the new chapter and I'll see you at the next update (much sooner this time)!
> 
> -Jenn
> 
>  
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter @JennsterJay and Deviantart as StoryMasterPurple

 

        You wake up on Monday with your cheek laying on something cold and hard. You slowly blink and open your eyes, and notice the object you were laying on was your laptop. You groan and push it away towards one end of your bed and adjust to the light streaming through your curtains behind you.

         You debate getting up for a minute. Though you make an attempt at first, when the cold air hit your skin you tuck your feet back in and snuggle under the covers. You decide the morning could wait a few hours.

However, it was then that your phone buzzes on the small stand next to your bed. You roll over and squint upon facing the sunlight, then lazily reach out to grab your phone and unplug the charging cord from it. It was exactly 1:00 in the afternoon. Oof. You must’ve binged hard on that sci-fi series last night.

\-----

          You have a brief flashback of your past weekend having edited together more video feed for your job, having gamed on your XStation, and having binged two seasons of the alien show you were watching. Somewhere in between, you texted Sans’ number for the first time Saturday after you checked up with your roommates and family. You could tell through his texts that he seemed happy you contacted him, and after the awkward phase of making small talk and having run out of things to say, you both finally hit the gold mine when you started texting about your interests, hobbies, and Flixnet shows. Surprisingly he had done just as much Flixnet watching as you had the past few days, which was an unhealthy amount if you were being honest. You could just feel the bags under your eyes.

          The two of you geeked out on your shared series’ and texted about episode theories and your favorite characters. Afterwards you also texted back and forth about video games, music, comics, and your jobs as well...man you two were hitting it off. You honestly were. You told him you were in Uni studying Film with a small side video editing job. He said he was also in college, and was currently in the Honors Astrophysics program while also studying Education. He said last semester he worked two jobs, at the college’s library and StarryBucks, with a hint that he might be able to slide you a discounted latte if you ever found yourself on campus. Needless to say, you two were shaping up to be great pals.

          Later he sent you Papyrus’ number and you noticed the tall brother even texted in all caps. When you asked why, and he said ‘SO THAT YOU CAN HEAR MY VOICE ABOVE ALL DIGITAL APPS’. You then thought about the many times you forgot someone texted you because you were watching something interesting on your phone. Welp, he wasn’t wrong. You could still practically hear his shouting. The two of you then got into friendly conversation about anime, music idols, logic puzzles, and action figurines. You were impressed, he sure knew his stuff. You both also laughed about cooking shows and memes, and you asked him about his favorite foods. He said he enjoyed cooking different pastas, notably spaghetti, but his favorite meal was a particular brand of oatmeal that had sugared dinosaur eggs in it. You said you’d have to try that sometime. All in all you were happy that texting the brothers went well, and you looked forward to making plans to hang out with them sometime in the future.

          Things seemed to go smoothly as you continued to text them on and off, but it wasn’t until early Sunday night that you realized the more you laughed at San’s puns, the more they kept coming. At first he would make a few jokes, you’d laugh, then he’d switch to casual conversation. But as you texted him more and more, the jokes steadily overshadowed the conversation until you felt like you were subscribed to some sort of daily joke notification service, and it had only been two days. You needed to tell him, one can only take so many puns.

\-----

          Now it's 1:10pm and you had a couple texts you must’ve slept through before you woke up to the one you just got. You read them over.

 

 **Sans**                                                             1:00

          New UTube Link

          I found this funny video I thought you might like. I promise you wont regr- **edit**.

 

 **Mom**  12:45

          Hey sweetheart, just checking in on you <3 I love you, don’t get to crazy with your show binging~

 

**Leanna**

**To You, Kiara & Rachel** 11:00

          New Image Message

          Hey (Y/N) I think I finally found your type ;)

 

 

          You sit up and open the group chat.

          ...Hmm not bad, but doesn’t look like much of a thinker. Especially since he misspelled the same word three different ways in his picture caption. He can work a filter though.

          You laugh to yourself now in a silly mood and think about all the cliche lines a guy like him might have memorized, then stand on your bed and act out a few. It was then that a certain song came into your head that was perfect for the situation.

          You give a mischievous smile and hop out of bed, letting the covers fall to the side as you turn up the song on your phone and make the carpet your dance floor…

 

=========

(Sup, writer here. Originally I had a song planned to be played alongside this part, but I figured you as the reader should be able to choose your own song ;) . If you want the original song, it’ll be mentioned in the end notes. Now back to the jams~

=========

 

          You turn on the lights, rock out to the beat, and dance your favorite moves as you sing the chorus. You slide your socks on the carpet in a moonwalk as the song continues and give a near by mirror some untouchable sass. Then you strut over to your bed and tango with a nearby pillow before you pose and push it away dramatically on the bed. Then you pull a Mettaton style move as you kick your leg up and pose again, before you dance in your regular style and laugh as the song starts to near the end.

          You dance over to your closet and salsa with a shirt and pants then toss them on the bed. Then the next beat of the song you toss your clean socks and undergarments on the bed too. And finally on the last part of the song, you grab a towel, wrap it around your neck like an expensive scarf and give your room the song-ending pose of the century.

 

          You take a few breaths with a smile on your face as your heart pounds, before you burst into laughter and fall back onto your bed. You then get up after a moment to gather your outfit for the day and take a nice afternoon shower. Life is good.

          After your shower, you turn on the TV to a news station and make yourself some late cereal with waffles, sausage, and eggs. Meh, two eggs out of the carton wouldn’t make much of a difference for the class tomorrow. Once you settle yourself on the couch and set your breakfast down in front of you on the coffee table, you watch the news. It looks like the Mayor was speaking to a couple of reporters. One was in the middle of asking a question.

         “Your Honor, there are a steadily rising number of citizens that believe medicines produced by monster magic should be favored over human formulated vaccinations. What is your stance on this issue?” A female reporter asks.

         ‘Wow’ you say as you chew on your eggs.

         “While I do believe that both human and monster medicines or medical practices have their own pros and cons, I believe it’s best for those getting medical care to research and get information from trained medical professionals before choosing to transition between monster and human medicine or medical practices. With this in mind, I believe it’s also important to...”

 

          Your mind begins to drift off as you think about what would happen to you if you were accidentally administered a random monster medicine...would you turn into that one green Orge? Would you have layers?

 

         “Mayor Bayer, since your election into office 3 years ago there have been a number of steadily rising cases of individual hate crimes and harassment cases; a majority targeted against your town’s monster population. What are your thoughts on this?” a male reporter asks.

          Your eyes glance back to the screen. You briefly think of your friends from college and the skeleton brothers you just met. You wondered what they were thinking about this.

          “I assure you that as long as I am Mayor, discrimination against citizens on the basis of race, class, age, creed, gender, sexuality and the like will not be tolerated. I have faith that our police department will handle every case of this kind with care and precision, and investigate these cases further to make sure that every citizen feels safe and lives a quality life in this town”.

          You finish your last bite of sausage as the reporters ask the Mayor more questions about the town, and switch the channel to a food network. It’s your favorite cook again yelling something about lamb sauce and the food being raw. You start to chuckle and take a few bites of your cereal before you dig into your waffles, then your phone buzzes in your pocket.

          You look at it and realize you forgot to text your mom and Sans back. Your mom sent you another text.

 

 **Mom**                                                          3:25

          I take it you show binged hard last night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

          You can’t help but snort at the emoji your mom used. You unlock your phone and text her back with a few taps on your phone.

 

 **((** Uhhhh...maybe ;^^. Good afternoon Mom, sorry I forgot to reply earlier **)) >**

 

          <(( That’s ok sweetheart :) just want to see how my girl’s doing ))

 

 **((** Pretty good just finishing a late breakfast **)) >**

 

          <(( Most would consider that Linner dear lol ;) ))

 

 **((** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ **)) > **

 

          <(( Haha xD ))

          <(( So what did you concoct?))

 

 **((** Cereal, waffles, sausage, and eggs :P **)) > **

 

          <(( Mmmm :p sounds good))

 

          You text your mom some more as you finish your breakfast and wash your plate, spoon, and bowl before placing them in the dishwasher. When she has to go back to her own cooking, you text her ‘I love you’ and go back to lay on the couch with the remote. You flip through a few channels now that the marathon of your show is over, but you find nothing. As you sigh and think about what to do next, a commercial with a generic pop instrumental appears on screen. It was a store you recognized.

 **“** **Big Sale! Big Savings! Its our biggest sale of the season at FavStore! The entire store is on sale plus doorbusters 50% off on select styles for her, men suit seperates, and boys and girls apparel all summer long. Celebrate the season with our biggest sale yet at FavStore”.**

 

          The commercial ends on its jingle and you sit up a bit. Though commercials don’t usually inspire you to binge on clothes, it would be fun to pick up some cool outfits. Maybe one to wear tomorrow for class…hmmm...hah screw it, why not? It was time to get some fresh air after all.

          Some stylish shades to wear and a short drive later, you park your car and arrive at the small strip mall. You predic it would be a short time before sunset, so you make a note to keep track of the time. It was 6:38pm. You enter the store, grab a cart, and walk some ways past other shoppers until you make it to the shirts and shorts.

 

          Oh no.

          Everything here was your style.

          But you can’t try them all on or you’ll be here all day…

          What have you done…

 

          You tell yourself to stay strong and strategically pick out the shirts and shorts that can fit with the other clothes in your closet. You pat yourself on the back and are about to reach the dressing rooms while the sun is still out when you see it…

 

          An entire rack of outfits with your favorite anime, video games, and Flixnet series’ on them. You could tattoo it on your arm that the rack was glowing with some kind of aura...and it was pulling you in.

 

         ‘Don't do it (Y/N)’

         ‘Don't do it’

         ‘Don't-’

 

\-----

 

         “… You know you can only take in 8 items at a time in right?” said the changing room employee.

         “Yes...” you said

         “Well, room 10 is open. You can leave your shopping mountai- I mean cart here” she said.

         “Ok thank you” you said as you grabbed 8 off the top, received your door marker, and went into the changing room.

 

          After what seems like hours of trying on clothes and setting aside the ones that didn’t fit or were out of your budget, it was already 8:30pm. Oof. Somewhere you could just hear the game over screen, but you shrug. It wasn’t that far to the car anyway, and night driving isn’t that bad. You bring your cart to the checkout and pay for your stylish and budget friendly amount of items. Your shades from earlier were hooked back on your shirt. You smile to yourself at your steal, and push your cart through the automatic sliding doors into the parking lot.

          It almost looks like none of the cars have left. People must really be going for those summer deals too. You walk your cart about halfway to your car and then stop abruptly. Nothing was in front of you, but you thought you heard something...

 

          You stood still to listen...

 

          You didn't hear anything unusual… so you carried onward to your car. Once you reach it, you pop the trunk and lift your large bag into it. You put your hands on your hips and smile, as the stars and parking lot lights shone above you. Tomorrow was going to be great, and today was like Santa was giving you Christmas presents in summer. You should treat yourself every now and then.

 

          Heheh Santa…

          San…

          Sans!

          You forgot to text him back!

 

         “Oh man that’s right-” you close the trunk and pull out your phone to look at your messages. He didn’t say anything after that video link he sent you... You hope he doesn’t think you’re ignoring him.

          You were about to text something to send him when you heard a woman’s voice and what sounded like a... _struggle?_

 

_“Let go of me !”_

 

          You look around in the direction of the noise after putting your phone in your pocket. Why does that voice sound... familiar? Your mind tries to put a face to it but nothing clicked. Was she in danger?

 

         “Now wouldn’t ya look at _this_? A stray cat. You run away from your owner or somethin’ _kitty_?” a slimy man’s voice also fills the air.

         “Urgh!I belong to _no one_!! And I said to let _go_ of me!” a cat woman?

          A cat...

          ...wait a minute!

          “I’m afraid I can’t do that, pet. Not until you pay up a special monster tax” he sneers in his voice.

 

           Following the commotion, your eyes target a tall figure over a shorter one. ‘There’ you thought. Even in the night you spot her yellow fur and distinct shape. It was unmistakable, the tabby woman from a few days ago who helped you with your cans. She was struggling to get her arm free from a gruff and unpleasant looking man who seems to be trying to steal her purse in the parking lot.

 

          “Get off! I’m not giving you anything! Someone help!” she yells and looks around. Her eyes briefly find yours and pause in recognition, and you stare back at her with wide eyes. The man’s eyes then slowly follow her gaze and land on you.

 

           Oh no.

 

          “Well well, is this your owner, _kitty_?” he sneers at the woman then back at you. “Have you come to put her on a _leash_ girlie?” he challenges you.

 

           You wanted to be cautious, but one look at her expression and hearing that disgusting name ended whatever sensibility you had left. It had only been a few seconds, but you had already reached your limit.

 

          “Tch”.

 

           You scowl, clench your fist, and begin closing the distance between him and you. This wasn’t your smartest plan...in fact you had no plan, but you had some self-defence classes and he was only an inch taller than you, and not very muscular. If it came down to it, maybe that difference would be enough to overpower him. At least enough to free her and make a quick getaway., but to do that you need some kind of distraction...

 

           Being loud was all you could think of.

 

           “First of all she’s no one’s effin’ pet. And second of all she doesn’t owe you _jack._ So I’d let go of her, because I’m sure that EVERYONE HERE CAN SEE YOU, AND I SEE ONE OF THEM FLAGGING THE POLICE!” You cup your hands and shout the last part to get some attention and distract the man. You think you actually turned a few heads too. The man’s slimy attitude falters and he starts to look around him fleetingly.

 

            Bingo. There was your opening.

 

            The split second he falters, you clasp your hands together and chop the link between them. In the same heartbeat, you grab her hand and begin to run back towards the store. You hear the sound of a dimensional box, and then you hear _him_ yell and start to _chase_ after you. _He was chasing you. A normal person would give up after being caught. This man is dangerous level of crazy._ You were sure you were about to make a quick getaway into the clothing store, before your head jerks back suddenly and you were _thrown_ to the ground.

            Ughh your head was screaming. You didn’t brace yourself for the impact fast enough. He must’ve grabbed your hair or the back of your shirt to stop you. You panic as his disgusting face comes into view.

            He towers over you on the ground. You were still disoriented, but before he gets his hands on you, your resolve returns and you kick into his kneecaps. He howls and starts to reach for his knees, then you spin your legs to hit the back of his, to make him scramble and fall to the ground. You quickly roll away while holding one side of your head, get up and put a great amount of distance between him and you as you scan the lot for the tabby woman. Ughh! that hurt. You hope that wouldn’t leave a mark later. From your right side you see the tabby woman run from behind you, to catch up with you until she was in full view next to you. Her expression spelled pique maternal anger at the man...you blinked. That face wasn’t scared angry, it was angry angry.

            She then looks back at you with a mix between anger, guilt, adoration, and solidarity, and at that moment you knew she wasn’t going to leave you. She puts a hand on your shoulder and gives you a firm look before speaking.

            “Go into the store, someone already called the police. I’ll meet you there and heal you after I take care of this” she states.

 

_Take care of this?_

_Take care of what? She wasn’t going to suddenly try to fight him was she?_

 

             You briefly recall how strong monsters can be, especially with magic, but you know the greater a human’s intent is to harm a monster, the more damage a human can do. One hard hit full of hatred can be enough to send a monster to the hospital, or worse.

 

             “What?- No no no no no no. Look at him, he’s insane!” Your heart races as you see him steadily start closing in again with an even crazier expression. You look back at her, desperate. “We need to leave!”. You try to grab her arm but she wouldn’t budge. What you were doing was too similar to what the man did earlier and you immediately relinquish your grip with both hands up upon the thought. You give her an apologetic glance before you put down your hands and close your eyes in a long sigh. You know this is it, there is no other option left and no time. You turn your body in a stance to face your incoming assailant and open your eyes with a determined expression. “If you’re not coming with me, then I’m not going anywhere”.

 

               Then the tabby woman tries to protest and pull your arm too but you wouldn’t budge either. You were both stubborn idiots. Stubborn idiots about to get in a _street fight._

 

 _“-Ugh there’s no time!_ ” The tabby scolded, then glances at the shades somehow still clipped on your shirt. She finally lets you go and sighs, accepting your resolve. She turns to you once more and you make eye contact again. Something is determined in her expression as well, though she was ticked off at your stubbornness, so you follow her next instructions. _“Put those on and don’t take them off!”_ she demands pointing at your shades.

 

               You don’t know what she is going to do, but you oblige with no time to question it. You quickly fumble with your shades and put them on. You think you saw an officer getting closer far away on your left but with the shades now you aren't sure. All you can focus on was the pounding in your head, heart hammering in your chest, and the next few seconds as adrenaline is rushing through you. You ready your practiced stance, and prepare for a bad time, but man if you aren't going down without a fight.

 

               The man pants and starts laughing in a crazed manner.

 

              “Oh when I get my hands on you two monster filth-” He spits on the ground “-you’re gonna wish you had your daddy to protect ya!” he cries. He then pulls out something from his pocket that glints in the light. You could feel the bloodrush from your face.

 

               Oh no.

               No.

               No no no.

               You knew self defense-

               -but you weren’t good at knife fights.

 

               The tabby woman notices the weapon but is unfazed. She points one finger at the man about to lunge at them, her face eerily calm with a steely gaze locked on him.

               “You. You have repulsively ignored my requests and hurt this human because of your greed...” Her steely her eyes gradually begin to glow a white hue. That same glow also haloes around her petite form. You’ve seen this up close only a few times in your life before…

               This was monster magic.

 

                “You are a threat to this girl, me, and everyone in your proximity. You have left me no choice but to take action, and seeing as I did not attack you first...” she snaps her fingers and a purple heart appears in front of the man’s chest. Hunh. Purple...a Perseverance soul. That’s usually a good trait. It’s too bad he’s nuts. When he notices the small heart manifest in front of him, he becomes confused. Then when he realizes what was happening, his face turns into angered horror.

                 “ _..._ I am perfectly justified in using my special attack!” She takes up a stance and raises her arms in one swift motion.

                 You don’t know what is coming, but you make sure your shades are on straight. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought your shades almost blacked out your surroundings entirely. When you notice your own green soul with the yellow aura of SPARE around it near your chest, you remember you are probably well within range of whatever magic she had. You aren't ready to be blinded with whatever is coming.

                 The man’s face contorts in anger from being challenged, but when he tries to move his body he can’t. He can only move his soul around, so his soul tries to lunge forward instead. Much like an RPG, in the rules of monster magic, if it’d been his ‘turn’ to attack it would’ve been different, but now he made it too easy. His soul was right in front of her!. He was a _sitting duck_. You laugh but your head still hurts so you stop. You can’t wait to see this.

                  Just then something big and white takes shape in the corner of your eye and you look up.

 

                 Oh.

_Ohh._

                 You don’t know whether to hug it or run away from it.

 

                 Directly above you is a blinding, mattress-sized, marshmallow shaped cat with small fangs. It’s face is the perfect balance between cute and scary. It’s then that it’s cartoon-like mouth opens wide and starts releasing a barrage of cat-shaped shooting stars towards the purple soul. If you didn’t know any better, you could pass it off as a bright firework display. The man sees this with wide, near-blinded eyes, and in vain he tries to run away. Instead his soul zooms all over the place as he screams two octaves higher than normal. His soul runs into nearly every shooting star as his Health Points keep dropping lower and lower.

                  By the time the tabby woman finishes her special attack, the man is already on the ground with a quarter of his HP left. He can’t get up to fight when it is his turn. Needless to say, he lost. Badly.

                  When the giant cat disappears, and your soul is no longer visible, you walk over and tip the rim of your shades to look at the crumpled man on the ground in disbelief. You kick his knife away and he angrily grumbles something incoherent.

                  “Why didn’t you do that earlier?!” You ask the tabby woman, more in awe than angry. She sheepishly smirks then looks a bit sad through the smile.

                  “I needed both hands, and using magic of that magnitude can get me fined up to 1 million dollars here…I’m lucky that in this state as a monster, I’m not immediately thrown in jail for harming humans, but since it was self defense and it seemed no one else was hurt maybe I can pay a lesser fine”.

 

                   You were concerned about whether or not she would face some kind of criminal charges, especially with a tall and muscular African-American police officer slowly and casually making his way to where the two of you were, but you choke when you heard the money amount.

 

                  “Wai-Wai-Wait- _1 million dollars?! No one has that kind of money”_

                   The tabby woman just laughs as you both continue talking near the crumpled man on the pavement.

                  “Don’t worry girl, monster gold has a different exchange rate than human money. See here...” She takes out a regular U.S. Quarter coin and a Monster gold coin. “Both of these have the same weight at .2 ounces. However while this quarter is worth 25 cents, this monster gold or G is worth around 237 U.S. dollars. By that logic, if I pay a fine of 1million U.S. dollars with G, it would be like if you paid a fine of around 4,218 dollars. That is why our fines are often higher”.

                  “Ohhhh. Ok, that explains a lot. I guess there’s still a lot I don’t know when it comes to life for monsters here, and I’m sorry that _this_ happened to you” you briefly point to the near unconscious man and warily eye the approaching officer. Then it hits you. You had _both_ had a hand in taking down the man, albeit in self defense. You both could face possible legal trouble. If you had a headache now, this was about to be a pain in the-

                  “It’s ok sweetheart this isn’t your fault. I still believe that not every human is like that. I know because you proved that today” she smiles and takes both of your hands, noticing your increasing anxiety. Your head is spinning and still hurts, but you give a small smile and for a moment allow yourself to be praised, it feels good. Even if the last few moments were pretty wild, you wouldn’t change what you did if you could. You’d take the consequences.

 

                   You take a sigh and shake your head. “Heh just didn’t want to see someone I met have a hard time If I could do something about it. No big deal Ms?…”

                  “Linda, just Linda is fine” she says.

                  “Linda” You nod and smile. She smiles too.

 

                   Through your hands you feel a warm sensation spread from your fingers to the rest of your body, and suddenly your head doesn’t hurt anymore. You blink and put one hand to your head. There was no pain at all.

                   She lets go of your other hand and puts a firm hand on your shoulder. You realize you were both about to get potentially screwed over by what was going to happen next. She would have to pay 1,000,000 dollars and who knows what was going to happen to you, even if all you did was trip him and kick his knife away. You cringe, but you swallow your worries and prepare as the police officer comes closer into view.

                   “If there are two things you should walk away with today it’s these. Don’t ever let go of that Kindness you have, but always be prepared in case something goes wrong” Linda says. She then shuffles what sounds like coins into your hand. You look in your palm. Five gold coins sparkle from the parking lot lights. She gave you 5G.

 

                    5G

                    1G is 237 dollars

                    So 5G is around-

_Around_

_Around 1,185_ dollars

_She-_

_She just gave you 1,185 dollars_

 

                   Your mouth goes agape and you struggle to make noise come out of your mouth. You don’t know what to say.

 

                   “If any trouble comes up, I’ll help take care of it. No use in being treated like criminals when we were victims ay?, but it’s best to be financially secure. Hopefully that will be enough to cover anything that might pop up legally”. She winks and gives you two finger guns. You feel like you're having déjà vu….

                   After you profusely switch between thanking and apologizing to the woman that night, and exchanging names and phone numbers, the rest of that night seemed like a blur.

 

                   The officer, Mr. Westfield questioned the scene and took notes on what the situation was. The crazy thug was taken to the hospital, where his sobriety was taken into question before recovering and getting arrested. Weeks following, she and you would go to court and win the case on count of self-defense. You would keep in touch later.

 

                   However you wouldn’t know those facts until much later as you now currently lay in bed in your pajamas, with an arm lying over your forehead, looking up at the ceiling as you hold a gold coin up in the filtered moonlight. Your new clothes were washed, dried, and put away, and your food items for tomorrow’s class were prepared.

 

                   You were anxious about the latter half of tonight’s events, but you choose not to dwell to much on it as you had no control over it now. Worrying into the night wouldn’t do you much good. You sit up and look at the coin in your palm, then move the coin in your hand to flick it in the air with your thumb. It makes a pleasing ringing sound to the ear, that you could say almost sounds magical on its own. It lands on your bed cover, and you place it on your bed stand with the other 4 coins.

 

                   You then pick up your phone from your lap and turn the brightness down as the bright screen comes into view. You consider calling your mom and dad about tonight’s events, but ultimately decide to tell them tomorrow. It was late at night anyway, so you browse through your Tweeter, InstaChat, and the Nets before going through your messages.

 

                   One unread message from Sans.

 

                   You laugh upon remembering you forgot to open it, and want to facepalm, but tonight you really need a laugh instead.

 

 

                   Sans                                                         1:00

                   New UTube Link

                   I found this funny video I thought you might like. I promise you wont regr- **edit**.

 

 

                   You open the message and click the UTube Link.

 

                   It was a UTube compilation of all the funny and hilariously cringey moments from Alice Battle Odyssey, a sci-fi series you both watched. You laugh at all the ridiculous scenes from the first season, from the dance scene where Alice, Kurga the edgy space prince, and Matteo the battle hardened warrior had to perform as a DisNick-Channel pop band in front of an outlawed king to infiltrate his kingdom, to season five where Alice managed to defeat one of the main villains with nothing more than a toothbrush and some alcohol. You giggle and cackle through the whole comp, and close the video when it reaches the subscribe outro.

 

                   You were about to text Sans when you notice it was nearly the next day. You don’t want to risk waking him up, but you hadn’t responded to him all day...

 

                   Your politeness was thrown out for a spur of the moment text that came over you. You were grateful for a laugh at the end of a wild day, and you hope one late message wouldn’t be too taboo, so you send a quick one anyway. If he’s asleep he could always wake up to it later.

 

 

                                                                                                Monday 11:45pm

                   (( Sorry for not texting back earlier. That video was hilarious, it really made my day. Hope you have a swell night ))>

 

 

                   You send the message and hold your breath. After a few moments of nothing happening, you exhale and laugh before you click off your screen, plug your phone into the charger, and snuggle under the covers for the night. Even with the ‘Super Strip Mall Brawl’,you had some new clothes to wear, new monster cash, and a new cooking class to look forward to. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

                   Life is good.

 

\-----

 

                   Somewhere else in town, a skeleton’s phone pings as he sits in bed watching a space documentary. He looks at the message and smiles, then taps his thumb on the keyboard, sending a message back.

 

                                                                                               Monday 11:56pm

                   (( Heheh no problem. Figured you were probably **spaced-out**. Lol. And glad it made you laugh :) Hope you have a good night too. )) >

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The suggested song for the dance scene was originally "No" by Meghan Trainor.)
> 
> This chapter was written and rewritten nearly 4 months ago. At the time I was going through a rough patch with moving states and moving away from friends, and even questioned if this chapter was ever going to work for this fic/if I had motivation to finish at all. It's been hard but, ultimately I want to believe in my writing more and create a good story. So even if updates are sporadic, I won't stop till I'm finished. (It won't be another six month hiatus though XD). I hope you'll keep supporting me and this fic into the next year. Let's rock and roll into the future. 
> 
> -Jenn
> 
> *That Santa joke was written months ago and ironically enough this chapter sat so long that it actually became relevant. When I saw it I lost it XDD.  
> *And I put the purse in the dimensional box at the last minute right before posting because I forgot it existed XD


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